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On MODIfying, Developing and Changing INDIA

There was a country, a country of spirited and adept men, finding itself in the path of recovery from the heavy blows of imperialistic pas...

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Friendship,after all,is a grand  feel and affection that can not be captured by words.But let me try and define what  friendship means to me.For me its the mutual care or at least the mutual concern  between two people.It need not necessarily be intense intimacy between two people always.Its expression might range from gentle always offending possessiveness to cordial smile.Its the belief that you won't be looked differently even when you do or say something negative.Its the  rapport with someone in which, you exactly know what will be the next word from his mouth before even he speaks,you know exactly what he thinks and what he would do always a minute before him.Its the understanding in which  you can interpret what his blink of eye to his gentle suppressed smile  means and that in whihc you can can read  his unspoken frustration and disappointments.If that sort of  friendship blooms, that should be the ideal friendship which can exist in epics and movies.

But I think I have the privilege to say that I have/had those kinda friends.I have felt those exact moments few times(really few) with few people.I have sensed that they also feel the same,sometimes,when they exactly say what is at the tip of my tongue and the exact thing which i had intended to say as if they have eavesdropped my mind voice.In short these are the instances in which you predict the reality and say what he thinks and say to him "Can't one identify the dog which can catch the rabbit?"(I mean "Muyal pudikra naye moonja patha theriyadha?"..he he...Sorry,I know its a bad translation..Bear it for me..:P :P..)

Dedicating this post to all my beloved friends with that note... :)..Thank you for accompanying me and making my little journey(a meaning ful and funny one) on earth called life... :)

Talking about that I can narrate it in two categories showing two attitudes and approaches. 

Vishnu Before Coming To Chennai (BCTC,get use to this new acronym for the few mins that you r gonna spend here.. :P) and Vishnu After Coming To Chennai(ACTC).Before coming to chennai I had the below mindset.I did not care(ever)about choosing friends and all.I hang around and be friends with everyone who strikes a conversation with me and naturally with that approach,I had a lot of friends.If someone is good to me i would be good to them(no matter whether they were Bin Laden or Gandhi to others). And regarding friends in the opposite gender I can say I had 0.00 percent of girls as my friend out of my whole friends...he he... No special reasons.Never felt it is necessary and i never wanted to force things, if it has to happen it would happen kinda mindset.And then I moved to Singara Chennai(Chennai ennai poda vennai endradhu... :P :P).

After coming to chennai (i.e ACTC).With that a twist came in life or rather i twisted my approaches to go with the normal walk of city life.Let me enumerate the factors which changed my approaches. The first thing i noted and hated about this new life or i could say college life since i changed my college and moved to a city college...(wait a sec,city col status to RREC??...Bit over!!!..But then,can tolerate and say since guys like me have studied in that..he he...) is that the Gang theory. Yeah!!!... First the class is divided into two gangs...One comprised boys and the other girls. (Of course i welcomed that and felt comfortable,let me tell why later). And then those gangs were sub divided into Mafias each with different MO's (I mean Modus opernadis') ..almost each bench forming a group which was totally opposite and new to my previous college and school experiences where the Mafia consisted of at least(to the least) half of the class... EKSI..

And most importantly coz i saw a lot variety of new kinda people in chennai.Really good people(very hard to find,one has to search nook and corner),Normal human beings with general mindset of guy in his twenties(can see quite a few here and there),Half minds who doesn't know what they do? doing all the funny things one can do(can't blame them..time won't pass without them),people who pretend to be ignorant and unconcerned but do things with a perfect measure(Ushar parties... Carefulla iruka vendiya parties),people who always look for a way to belittle you and get pleasure out of that(konjam adaki vekka pada vendiyavanga),people who strive to rundown you and prove that you are no good comparing them and finally one set of dangerous people,who speak to you like they are your best friends to you for years but immediately forget you when they walk past few steps never minding to give a damn about you...(simple as the proverb goes Vai vazhapazham kai karna kezhangu..he he..).

To deal with al these varied set of people i had to form strategies.Otherwise i would have been beaten to ground long before. But as they say "Be a Roman when you are in Rome", I also  changed myself and formed my own Mafia.(literally a Mafia..:P :P..Lot of records on us really :P :p).And in ACTC mode I formed some new strategies as i said before.Simultaneously along with Be-good-to-those- who-are-good approach I also followed Probe-who-the-hell-is-who? principle.I had to test(won't say how i test..company secret) people frequently to know who they really are and in which category(of the above) they fell into.Generally i maintian a distance and interact with them to know who they are.Unfortunately lot of people failed miserably.(this was not like Anna univ bull shit question paper to pass easily i guess :P :P).

Said earlier that I would say why i welcomed girls and boys division in class(Even though sometimes i felt i missed some fun..:P :P...).Its time,here it goes.The reasons are simple.No.1,I never felt that i had to befriends with some girl coz friendship is all the same,be it with a boy or a girl.No.2,I never had to look for anything new since i got everything from my friends.Then why the heck girls?.(Tidbit:I never met any beautiful girl to try and start a relationship:P :P..he he..jus kidding..).No.3,I knew one has to be a bit wary with girls and a slight mistake in choosing a right friend can do great deal of damage to ones mental health...he he.Whether anyone accept or not,I believe tat a girl cann't be predicted or be judged what she is up-to.(Even after 2 years now there are few people ,what people? i should say few girls whom i don't understand...They don't even leave a clue acting differently in different situations.. :P ).So i felt the class safe place to be the way it was.

 What ever My question was ,if they are that good why didn't they do it before and why now.If they do it now it means they just want to get introduced.(I did not like it since i always believed that friendship is the one flows from heart not the one which is brought out forceful pretensions..simply it did not sound genuine to me.)With this understanding i did not even respond them back well..Just Hi,bye was the level of our relationship and i took nearly 3 months to get along well with a girl who can be called my friend.She suffered a lot coz of this Probe-who-the-hell-is-who? strategy.I felt bad when she told me after somepoint of time that she was thinking I'm a guy with attitude and showed arrogance.But i am glad if this loony thing will get me good friends.

And now,I myself don't know whether I'm in BCTC or ACTC mode,may be a hybrid of those two.Don't know whether its good or bad but it makes sense and I'm clear.It just says always  a little distance is necessary (might vary from 1millimetre to few centimeter to a meter :P).People need space as i think i need space.(I enjoy and respect my privacy a lot these days.. :D).Never depend on anyone or rather don't get obsessed with someone coz people might change any moment.Be ready to come out of anything any moment(Don't bother saying GO TO HELL :P) while at the same time you value and be aware of the worth of  relationship.These are really life savers(which I'm trying to follow..but can't..:P) but while you are in a madness called friendship you don't really give a damn about this :P...

I know I have been quite a jerk sometimes(there should be a reason behind that...Am i that bad?..:P) to few people but what i wanna say is "I'm sorry for whatever it is no matter who is at guilty".Similarly there are quite a few folks who irked me and upset me.All i wanna say to them is I don't hold back anything in mind lets move on and who knows that might be a starter for a good friendship.

Dedicating this post to all my beloved friends with that note... :)..Thank you for accompanying me and making my little journey(a meaning ful and funny one) on earth called life... :)

I thought of coming up with this post on Friendship day eve and as usual coz of procrastination i could not complete it on time.I started with something in mind and deleted it,it pulled me to college life i wrote about it and  then modified it and finally posting this before i change my mind once again.. :P..Since it took time the length of the post increased..I apologize for that and hope you tolerate it and  like it...


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