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On MODIfying, Developing and Changing INDIA

There was a country, a country of spirited and adept men, finding itself in the path of recovery from the heavy blows of imperialistic pas...

Monday, September 27, 2010

My posts these days,reflect my moods which had pre-occupied me sometime earlier.Its better that way, when i write about stuff after i get over or after i let go the steam simply coz  my presentation will be less intense.Wat to do?. I'm bit emotional and impulsive some times(?).Perhaps I have that restraint to keep everything inside the four walls of my heart.When i wrote the last one,i went overboard (just a little :P) just to desperately make myself cheered up and to deviate myself from bothering or pondering  over things that goes around.And now i am writing about one of that stuff which bothered me few days back..And let me start without boring you any further...

I have to start this one with one of my usual grumble, that the things flood into my life and they prove overwhelming .Cut-short,(here it goes) Why the heck things are always in the extremes in life?.This time what suffocated and led me to that was Death.More precisely,death slash suicide. Probably you don't really wanna hear these words and never continuously you want them to be resonating in your ears reminding you that someone who was with you or someone who you know is dead.How one feels  is hardly explicable in words.That too when death was chosen and embraced with open arms.

Frankly, this is not the kind of topic i would like to talk a lot about.Only thing what i can say is that suicide is the first and last resort of a coward that too a foolish mindless coward .If you ask me there is nothing in the world that one can kill himself  for.Yes there are things to die for i mean few things that you can risk your life and fight for something and get killed.Once again there are only very few things like honor,country and right principles etc etc.Other than that nothing is worth dieing for.In a way,killing someone is better than getting oneself killed. Murderer tag won't be that bad than a coward tag or an idiot tag.

What those people forgot is the fact that nobody is gonna give a damn if  they kill themselves.It might be cynical but that is the hard brutal truth .The loser will be the one who dies not the others.Surely his friends and relatives and their parents will miss them and feel for them.But for how long?.A friend might get struck for your loss for a week or a month and he will move on.His parents might curse themselves to have seen their son dead and feel dejected for two months or three months or may be a year but they too have to/will move on.Coz they have one more kid to look after.They will be remembered on death anniversaries and will be missed in some occasions. Thats all.Nobody is gonna die along with you when you die,everybody has their bloody hell business.

People who know this won't even think about such ridiculous ideas like suicide.More over if someone/  something makes you unhappy and depressed its just better to hang on and wait for one's time and then screw those people back.Thats where the real fun is.There are only two things that can avoid such stupid things.One,you have to have someone who you speak your heart out.It might be a friend,your mom,your brother,your colleague,your sister or anybody for that matter.Two,one should have a confidence or hope in life or else at least a smug arrogance that says nothing or nobody can make me feel small.

Many times when i had thought about people taking this hard decision of ending their lives, one thing always (for a very long time) intrigued me.From where do they get the courage to end their life?.I mean when i think about death or what death would be like i really get scared to death.This fear had led me to read on subjects like life after death,death-bed experiences,re-incarnation etc etc.The fear is due to the fact that after death you don't feel anything,you don't/can't think,You are not even aware of yourself.You unite with the unknown ever prevailing darkness synonymous to sleep where you don't feel anything.Simply there is no identity to you and there is no YOU.I don't think a hell or heaven is waiting for us after one dies and we don't know what happen to us after death.But contrary to that, as someone said May be Earth is some other planets hell and the question is which hell we go to after we die.

Besides the fear of what happens after death or where you go, i feel disgusting  when i have to  leave all the loved ones.I may not be a best son to call my parents every week,i may not be a best friend to catch up or visit my friend every month and i may not be a best brother to be a nice and never-quarreling sibling.But still i hate to leave these people that too forever.I may be a bit retarded,not to be the way i should be as a son or a friend or a brother but that doesn't justify that i can live without them.Even though people don't see their loved ones daily they don't bother much coz they know the fact that their loved one is happy even though they are not  with them.There is a difference between somebody dead and somebody living elsewhere happily out of sight.I am quite okay with living out of sight but never out of world.I wonder what makes someone overlook all the above fears of unknown and fear of departure when killing himself.

I end up convincing my mind that "May be a good night's sleep that we experience everyday is a dress rehearsal for death".But oddly my power booster is sleep and at times i hate the world when i have to get out of the bed.What ever it is I don't believe in hell or heaven when i think with my rational mind and i don't wanna think about this anymore.At very young age when i was like 13 or 14 these kinda questions comes to my mind.That is the age which explores and tries to understand the world right?.When this question of death arrives i think hard about that and i get puzzled with everything that i shared above and finally end up having a headache desperately needing sleep.Well that is not exactly happening now i am not in the verge of getting headache and all.But before it can happen let me end it here.....Coz this is not something that i cherish talking long about.....

Sunday, September 05, 2010

                        This post is very suitable for people who belong to the age group of 16 to 24. They can easily relate to this. What sin did the other people commit?. Hmm-mm.... Never mind... Even others,as well, can read this .
                         As opposed to the conventional disclaimers shown in movies and books,here i don't wanna disclaim  that all the incidents in this posts are imaginary and it doesn't bear any resemblance to real life because everything portrayed is about  a real life character(Perhaps the man of the century :P ;)) i.e me :P.

And let me claim one thing here(this ought to be the real disclaimer),each and every alpha that is spelt here is for absolute fun and no offense intended. The company(i.e me :P) can't be held responsible for any damage done or any hurried judgment of the main character or the supporting characters. Just laugh and forget and if not just forget ,not a big deal.

STORY SCREENPLAY DIRECTION... Wait a sec....I can't claim the story is mine coz all these just happened and there is no part of me or my imagination.I can say screenplay is mine coz I'm the one narrating here.As far as the direction is concerned the credit should go to our boss(?). Yeah the one above,GOD.(yov vara vara romba overa pora nee..iruku di unaku.. :X).So it can be said, SCREENPLAY and CAST-MSV( none other than me.like MGR,NTR,SRK he he..  :P)
I can hear you say if the hero or rather main character is finalized then who is the heroine or lead lady?. There you go man,the problem rose or rather arises there. Let me kick start,

There is this  poor guy who is feeling low and  charged down(actually the title is heartbroken square since the protagonist's heart breaks when he already is heartbroken :-P..eppudi..) and lets not get into those details which will make this story a soap opera.(the protagonist speaks now)When things were like this one fine morning,

 Sipping a hot cup of  coffee,having another stupid conversation with my stupid(:P) friend i started, "Hey even though she is not up to my range she is looking good know?.My friend said "Ohh..That  s huge!.Did you just say she is  good looking.Did i hear that right?.I said,"You did hear me right.I did not say beautiful but said she is kinda good.Best in the available.""The girl who is with the mobile talking to someone right?.To an extent yes she is..But i don't like her",he quipped.
"If you don't like her that's good in one way and that means she is good.But tell me  why  you  don't like her",I added."Her look,hairstyle and her outfits,simply everything. Does she thinks herself as J.Lo.Too much scene dude." he said with a disgusted face."Hey hey!. You should not be talking like that about your Sis-in-law.She might have been brought up like that and by the way you don't never ever judge a person by the outfits or looks",I responded furiously.
"What?. Who the hell is brother here in the first place?.(idhaiyelam ennala anniya ethuka mudiyadhu).I can't in my whole life accept THIS as my Sis-in-law" he went on."What THIS huh?. Man thats a girl not some non-living thing.What do you mean by THIS?.Replace that with HER"i clarified.He said,"This respect is enough for you and that girl who is seen by you.I can't accept you as my bro even if i did,i won't accept THAT as my sis-in-law".I ended the conversation,(porama...thu)"I can see you are jealousy.Those envy filled eyes says everything ".After hearing this how would he speak anymore?.Never..so that ended there.

It is said that
The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.
(swear to god that these lines r not mine.Someone called Gwyneth Paltrow said .I may be stupid but not that stupid to write this much :P).That is the reason i ended up having to have a conversation of that kind and had to look at a girl who did not comply all qualities that i expect.Yup heartbroken and am trying to mend it.More over how long one can squander time by saying the cliche "no girl is up to my mark and all".(Evlo naal dhan ippdiye irukaradhu :P).The girl in question here is really not that bad and of course more than good category if i have to really speak the truth.

This good looking prospect of romance started there with that conversation and went on for few days.I always got a chance to see her even though i never went for breaks or lunch on time.(And why should she come late and that too whenever i go.Is she looking at me too? :P..Or is it some love waves.:P :P).Hours and days passed liked this.And suddenly there came a twist.Guess what?

Usually in Love stories Villains will emerge before intermission or after intermission,but in my case before the love story begins the villain makes his entry always.And in this particular instance marriage was the villain.Yes,after two weeks of  this short stint of one sided romance i came to know that she is gonna get married soon.(WTF!.I hate that).These days,a girl absconding and suddenly popping up and saying "I'm getting married in few months or days" is not new to me.It has become a way of life and when  friends say that i can feel happy for them but how can i be happy in such a scenario like this.

If you think that I'm heartbroken coz she is getting married then you are wrong coz if a Megan fox goes another Selena Gomez or Monica Belluci will come,no big deal.But the thing is why should this happen when i don't look at girls and all of a sudden ,as a once in a  century phenomenon, i look at a girl and get slightly interested only to find myself getting frustrated at the end.My heart broke for this frustration or lack of lady lucks smile(one more to the account), and it had not got anything to do with the loss of the girl.(Really its bullshit to speak about the loss of the girl.It was not even crush).And the part of  frustration is that to find another girl.(why the hell its very difficult to find a girl of my caliber and taste :P.hardly very few are there :P).

After two weeks...In the same cafe,

 Sipping a hot coffee,i was having another stupid conversation with my stupid(:P) friend.This time he started, "Hey see there!.YOUR girl is coming" sounding exactly like Mayilsami in Thalainagaram movie when he would say"Anne appo Trisha vazhkai"..
Giving a dirty look( I did not say Nanum Trishavum kalyanm panni kudumbama da nadathanum like vadivel :P) but i said "My girl huh?.Is she my daughter or Am i her boy friend?.How does that MY GIRL tag fits here dumbo".
He was his usual self and went on "Ohh!The story has changed like that huh?.I heard someone saying that she is my sis-in-law,i don't know what happened to that guy sorry to my beloved bro?".
Not able to withstand his mockery "Hey you! Enough!.I'm already pissed off at her and on top of that you don't add fuel to the fire.Look at her,won't this Britney spears wear anything other than Jean and T-shirt.Straight form Milan Fashion week or what?"
This time he gave even more dirtier look when i said the exact words he said the other day."Pal!.One should not be judged by the dress they wear right?.And what?.You are pissed off at her huh?.Man you are not her boyfriend and she has not dumped you and for heavens sake she doesn't even know your name".
I simply asked him(Nee nallavana kettavana da.),"Wow!.Are you that good person.Have you made promise to someone that you will talk exact opposite to what i say?."
He said "Buddy Being your friend I'm like you.This is your own medicine.(En bit enake va?.BTW Do i really talk that much? :P).."and added "Machi Trisha illana Divya..next next nu poite iru".
With a sad face i said "Machi Trisha illana divya but Divaya ve illana enna da panradhu?.Ippo ponadhu Divya dhan da.EKSI."
With a giggle he said"Divya illana oru Deepika da", noticing my curiosity after hearing a new name he said "i mean Deepika padukone."
"Nope.I'm not interested.She is not up to my range"I said  expressionless.
He stared as if he is gonna spit meaning "indha pechukum nakkalukum korachal illa da" and said "I can't say one more word."
 But unfazed by his stares " I added buddy can we ask that girl whether she has a sister who looks like her or may be a cousin sister or else  shall i pick her up as Madhavan picks up Reema in one week in Minnale".
Elevating to a high degree of anger he said "what CAN WE ASK huh?.No joint ventures in this kinda things.If its a tamil girl she would scold in tamil but this girl would scold in hindi so we cant even know what sort of bad words she would use?.I'm not ready for that.Why should i get scoldings when i don't have anyhting to do with this?"
I said "I know hindi.By the way lets ask whether she has two sister.One for me and one for u?.Now shall we go and ask?".
He said, "aaniye pudunga venam" and pleaded " I'm not interested in her or her sis or her cousin sister." he ended.You please carry on with your second idea of picking her up in one week.Best of luck for that"
Not wanting to test his patience i ended the whole episode.

Forget about that,(Trisha illana divya..Divya illana Deepika :P)now that i have made my intentions clear,let me tell you what am i expecting.My expectations are not that demanding just i want a girlfriend who would take me to Sathyam or Inox or Mayajaal  every weekend.The one who would give me gifts for special occasions like for saturdays a Mercedes , for sundays a N-97 and for Valentines day or a new year some 10 million dollar cash deposit in swiss bank etc.Most importantly a girl who  would make a call late night 2  and send sms every hour.And she should have a scooty pep or kinetic honda to drive me whenever we go some where.I can hear what you say?.You doubt why wouldn't i get a bike for me from her as one more gift, right?.No big secret.I just don't know to drive a bike.And please don't think all these are too much coz when girls (priyanka chopra) can ask "Why should boys have all the fun " they also should think why the hell boys should always do the above stuffs.For a change you do this too apart from having fun like guys..Hows the deal ;).Anyone who finds the deal good can approach me anytime.

*conditions apply.Subject to final change.You never know when i will stop being funny and  get serious and when i will stop giving a damn about this things like love,pretty girls etc.

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