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On MODIfying, Developing and Changing INDIA

There was a country, a country of spirited and adept men, finding itself in the path of recovery from the heavy blows of imperialistic pas...

Monday, November 29, 2010

Hi everyone!!!..I just wanted  to share few things here on this special occasion.Special occasion??.. Yes it is the 50th(Well I am not talking about Sachin's 50 th test century :P).This exact post marks the 50 th mile of my little journey started a year and half ago..I,myself ,am amazed at this.This little accomplishment of mine may not be as fabulous as or as much awaited as the 50th ton of Sachin but in terms of the significance its huge (at least for me).Both 50s serve as a reminder which flashes the peaks and pits of  an unforgettable journey which was cherished by the performer most than anyone else.


It would not be wrong if i say blogging has been a constant companion all these days through all times quietly listening to all MY BLABS containing inspiration,creativity,innovation,appreciation, affection, frustration, anger,gently digs and tease at people and rage.The memory of blogging all these posts can be compared to a leisurely stroll across a beautiful garden on a spring evening.And the encouragement by you  people added luster to that moment like the sweet chirping of birds with the nicest of voice and flashing of  butterflies across the garden with  most appealing of  colors embossed on their wings .There are no words to describe that no matter how hard i try.


Recently (where i did not have anything better to do :P) i went through all my posts right from the very first one.When i finished skimming through them, i was able to sense the marked improvement for at least every 10 posts.There was a silent transformation which i could sense in both the posts and in my writing.It may be called  a kinda evolution.The evolution of posts from writings with lot of typo,grammatical errors with subjects handled in a weird way to the writings with less typo and grammatical errors and  the subjects handled in an acceptable way if not best of the best ways.During that i  kept on saying"Did I really write this?" in both surprised and frustrated tones.Some posts were out of my abilities and some were really naive.


Rather than growth and learning on which people usually focus on i believe this evolution is important where you metamorphose naturally into something better and go to next level.As a writer i write in the way i feel comfortable about the things that touch my heart(I absolutely don't want to write something that has more chances of getting lot of clicks).Obviously i'm not a kinda gifted one who sits before the computer and blog on the go writing whatever i want.I have to get a spark and feed it by thoughts.After i write, it undergoes numerous edits every time i read in a readers perspective.This is why it takes a hell lot of time for me to finish a post.Amidst all of this, i am fully aware of the fact that the writings in this blog doesn't meet the criterion of a normal blog.


This is not a conventional blog and i do not write in a conventional way.I mean who writes about untold one-week-one-sided romance with a girl in a stupid way, who writes about their personal disappointments dumping the frets in public,who has a dig at their friends by gentle teases insults in a public forum and who writes anything and everything in a personal perspective.Of course no body does that any where than in this blog.In reality one could not expect people to read this and accept, let alone approve it.This is one reason why i don't bother about the hits and comments i get.But that is the way i write and I am what i am.I simply enjoy it conscious of the advancements in the path i have set for myself than bothering over hits and comments.


Having said that i should accept that i do get comments(really rare and very few) which makes me happy.To be blunt people at times come up with comments that hits the bull's eye revealing the exact  read-worthiness of posts (many times they are not pleasing :( ).I would say those honest comments were colors in the wings of butterfly and the chirps of birds in my blogging garden than the standard stuff that people throw at me like "thats was really good","the language was good", "the post was funny" etc.(So honest comments even if it is negative are always welcome) I mean,i know the fact that I'm a Jerk who try to emulate Shakespearean and Shelli-an English( of course with out much success :P.Perhaps its quite spontaneous and coz of the love i have developed for the lang in school) but i believe there is always something more than the language in the posts.


One reason i have not left blogging (being a guy who gets bored with routines) even in times where i hardly managed to get time to sleep was the fact that the happiness and satisfaction i get out of this. Being a under performer in all other aspects of life i guess this is the only place where i be myself and try to give my 100%,enjoying myself completely.This is my recharger i can say.But sadly i don't blog much like before.But in a way I'm happy that from a time where i was wondering what to post i have grown into a position where i have to choose a post that is in my mind.I mean there are 3 to 4 ideas for some posts in mind for more than two months which needs to be written.It has become a kinda duty that i write frequently.


Even for this post i had lot of ideas,like i wanted to take up and review and share few of my old post and the way i wrote it.I have a lot to say about the way i blog and wanted to clarify few things but unfortunately i fear no more space is available for now and let me defer that.Finally i wanna flaunt a little :P(Like Karakatakaran senthil..Anne..chumma oru vilambaram :P ) about a recent piece of info from my tracker.It just says that the blog has gone global with visits from almost 44 countries. Thats really huge.(Africa,china and Japan has been missing for a long time but recently Africa and Japan covered up.China is only missing.Come on Chinese you don't afford to miss this blog..:p).


People say  which are their favorite posts to me but as the one who wrote, i enjoyed few posts more than other posts...The two below posts are the ones which gave a different outset to my writing and the ones i wrote very frankly...Business is being Brutal and LIFE- A HIDE AND SEEK GAME.There are some posts which came out well beyond my expectations than i intended to write, like Mera Dostho-My Friends...,Love-POISON OF LIFE,DOOMS DAY OR DUBAKOOR DAY.And movie reviews like Why Do i like Vinnai Thandi Varuvaya?,Angadi Theru-ONE MORE STUNNER FROM VB! etc got good reviews as well.Finally the two short stories also attracted few appreciations My first try at story writing!!!!! and 3 Days with a dazzling damsel raised few eyebrows :P.


Finally there were attempts which are aimed at exploring different stuff that could add some more skills to my writing such as I fell in Love with...???..huh..Mhm.. and the short stories.I wish i had more response for them since i put lot of effort and took lot more care when writing them.Two other such posts are about sachin which i really wanted to get responses and appreciations for the way o had expressed like Legendary Unending Era and Sachin:The history of batsmanship in one man .Even though all are my favorite posts these above were significant in one or the other way.


I conclude by saying big thanks to show my gratitude which is in every cell of mine than in words for reading MY BLABS.Hoping to get your love and support in future too.I don't believe in promotion that too self promotion but here i would like to extend a request (i don't think a request would fall under a category of self promotion.) that you share the posts with friends,which you really like and which really deserve sharing .Because a few more encouragement and feed backs  would really help me in the way where i am heading..Yeeeaaa.. Time to slowly explore the next level... EVOLUTION NEVER STOPS.. :) :D

As usual(which is explained in the post:P ) i started this week before and took long time to conjure this up.I wanted to clarify few things about the previous short story(i actually wanted to post how it should have been really and how i mend it in the way i prefer but did not find time for that.Let me do that some time later) and wanted to share some other things about how i write (But as i have said no space available so i couldn't).I always enjoy to share things about how i write..Hope fully i will write about things i missed in my next posts(which includes a kinda remake of Kamaraj-Gandhi of the south and Love-Poison of life and few others..hope i come up with that quickly at least in few months aware of my laziness :P)..Bye for now with a wink.. ;)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

"Don't you  wish a girl friend who is hot like me "-Nicole scherzinger was almost shrieking in my ears  through the headset of my full volume maximized  mobile.But i took no notice of  her enticing flirtation. Instead my mind was hovering over someone else.Hovering over that sweet stupid girl who is definitely not as hot as Nicole. But yet my mind preferred her...over Nicole,the deafening music and the inviting sleep at 1.10 A.M.But who cares I'm just another jobless passed out who is hunting for a job.

She was just another girl in college until the day i bumped into her.But one thing i could sense was that there was an air of  mystery about her.That mysterious part had an impact than anything else.Often that expression that she wears on her face suggests that she is bit of an aggressor or it shows a minor arrogance.But some how my instinct said there is something more about her than the brashness that can be seen outside. But these kinda things doesn't attract a guy towards a girl ,right?.There are two kinds of guys in this world. One,the kinda guys who expect a girl like an angel in life, two, the kinda guys who accepts the girl they get and think that they are angel.If you ask me???...I may be one-of- a-rare- kind of guy who is cocky enough to look at an angel like girl and say -mokka figure machi- that she doesn't fit my league.

I did not know that the above said cockiness is gonna be shattered into nano-mini parts on that day.I was chatting with my friends as usual and got dazzled by the girl who just entered class.She wore a sophisticatedly traditional salwar which was in the shades of red and blue.A small streak of sindhoor horizontally deposited in her forehead added more to the charm and grace as opposed to  the usual brashness.Simply put she was more than an angel on that day.I could not deny that fact, definitely not on that day.I was wobbling in the class for more than few minutes transfixed like that and i had to make an immense effort to resist looking at her.

Few hours passed and to my bewilderment at one point of time i got an delusion that she was coming towards me.She came to me with a gentle smile, looking at my eyes she asked me something. It was perfectly like a dream and i was savoring that moment to the core.Everything looked strange,my behavior, my classroom,the girl and the people around.Hell am i dreaming?. Suddenly someone shook my shoulders and prompted me "Isn't she talking to you?. Answer her Man"..After some brief seconds i realized that it was my friend and everything that happened was not dream.She was looking at me peculiarly,virtually asking are you alright?. She said something which suggested me that she wants to know something about the project that i was doing and said it was interesting when she heard about that.


It was unreal for me.I was like a 8 point GP holder and she is a 9 pointer.But i tried to say few words about that uninteresting project obviously fumbling for words.And she left with a smile and a brief eye contact that radiated all warmth and euphoria.I felt like flying.I knew that minute that this is no joke and there is something more between us.Even though it wasn't a dream its impact was like a dream.Nothing much happened after that except few occasional smiles whenever we encountered each other.She did not come to college everyday like she did on that day and the this-is-my-girl kinda thought did not grew strong.Hmmm...Its been four months that i finished my college.It would be sensible to ask why the hell would i think about her after 4 months if the this-is-my-girl kinda thought did not grew strong in college itself.Reason is that,the previous day i unexpectedly saw her.She was with a girl and she too noticed me.No excitement or not even a gentle smile. 


Again that brashness with a touch of  unpredictable expression in her face.I did not know whether to walk towards her and have a word.What if she doesn't recognize me?.Her do-i-know-you kinda look did not please me and i stayed away. Few mins went and she too started to move, turning and looking back at me twice or  thrice.From then on the old feeling has been frequenting me.When joblessness couples with this feel its perfectly normal to be awake at midnight 2 and think like this.But a sense of pain was there in  a corner about the encounter we had the day before.So finally there could be 2 possibilities, one,  i am obtuse enough to not  understand the magic  god is weaving. Else god is trying to deceive me through her probably wanting to test my temperament. The more i thought the more the second one made sense.How would she walk away if there is Magic?.
It dawned on me that night and i slept after deciding to put an end to this madness when it was at its rudimentary stage.
                                                                 Day-2
Hell same old thing..When  would i understand her...This morning suddenly she called me and said she wants to meet me.I reached coffee day 10 minutes earlier.It turned 6.She did not come.I texted  her" Wr r u?...Am waitin here.."She finally came by 6.10.Guess what?she was wearing the same old outfits that stumped me earlier when i was in college.I was staring at her as if asking what are you trying to do?...She came and sat opposite to me...She started..

"Are you alright now?"..With a glow on her face...
"What is this?.Trying to impress me?",I demanded eyeing her Dress...
"I knew i hav more than impressed you the day you blinked like a culprit before a cop when we first spoke"... She teased...
"If not trying to impress me, why this outfit now... Trying to cajole me or what?"...
"cajoling..would it happen with you?...I know how hardheaded you are"...
The reality of those lines made me laugh,"None has understood me better than you...you know I'm hardheaded ,then what is it with this meeting,outfit and talks about?...Any special occasion???"...
"Really you don't know??..Did you forget???.Consider that this is the day i made my worst mistake of my life couple of years ago",she said teasing me with the tongue in cheek.
"Ohhh...I remember only my mistakes...Better tell me what this is about?.."..I played along...
"Enough is enough..Have you really forgotten?"..turning very serious...
Realizing that i have teased her a bit too much i stood up..Went near her and sat beside her,"hey look..I was kidding don't get upset"..
"Keep quite...Don't talk to me anymore.."She was spitting fire...
Finally i just put my arm around her shoulder -(?????...wait a sec i will explain this in a few mins)- and said 
"Darling!!!...Can't you even find that I'm teasing you...Its just a  prank...how the hell on earth would i forget this place...That outfit and the day..I do remember that this is the place where we met couple of years ago and  i proposed you..This is the place where you mesmerized me for the second time with this outfit..This outfit does have that effect still on me for the 3rd time today. Most importantly i would never forget that this is the place,the date and the exact time where you accepted my proposal".....
                                                Day-3
I know you are wondering how the proposal took place.Here it is..A flashback...After that night where i decided to let her go,her call woke me up the next morning and she said she wants to meet me.I was completely astonished.But i accepted to meet her at coffee day 6'o clock.They say history repeats itself,but today i saw that.Because everything that happened today was the reiteration of that day.That time she was waiting for me.I was late by 10 minutes  and upon entering i saw her at a corner table wearing that outfit that has stunned me always.I went near her,almost my heart pounding.
"Hay hi..How are you...Good to see you"...
Wasn't it good to see me couple of days before,i wanted to ask.But looking at that eyes and the face with a broad smile i couldn't.So i had to succumb."I'm fine..Great!!!... to see you too"..
"Are you saying I'm looking great or its great to see me?".
Perplexed,"Sorry if i had sounded that way..I just said it was good to see you after a long time"...
Noting my change of tone,"hey i was kidding...cool...chill out.."Then the conversation was more formal and we asked about our lives.And suddenly i asked.
"why you wanted to meet...is there anything?"..
"well",She said,"I am looking for a job too and as you know very well that i got quite an impression with your project in college days itself.So i thought it would be good to add that to my resume if you can share that with me."Now that is a real heart breaker i thought that the magic theory worked and i got a chance to meet her but now she says all she wanted was a project.Damn it..Its sure as hell god is trying to deceive me.But hiding my frustration i said "yeah..why not...Thats okay with me"...and not wanting to stay there any more"well,now thats settled right?.Shall i move?".
How much ever i tried not to show emotions it went in vain.She read that and said with a teasing smile, "Enough!!!..i would not eat you,sit down for a while."..
"No its not that..I really have some work to do" ,I said...
"what ever it is..That can wait when something very important in our lives has to be decided  now".
"In our lives?..I don't understand",I queried.
"Hey are you really stupid or pretending to be a stupid?...I don't really understand...".she declared with out any second thoughts..
"What??...Stupid???...Excuse me!!!"..
"Aren't you that much clever enough to find out that under the guise of project I'm trying to get near you from that first day i spoke?.."..
I was like..."ahhhnnn....??????...!!!...."...totally speechless..
"okei let me be frank...I like you a lot and that is the reason why i wanted to get introduced to you in the name of  inquiring about project.And that's where i found that you have a soft corner for me.I was like waiting for you all these days.But you were clever enough not to understand that. Even day before yesterday i came to meet you but you turned your face and avoided me.So i wanted to put an end to this and decided to ask you".
"Ask me what?"...Still not coming to grips with what was happening...
"Ask that,When are you going to say 'I love you' to me?"... she quipped casually..
I was like flying in the air and felt like i got an ultimate honor in the world while  trying to pinch me to make sure that it wasn't dream.After that sweetest seconds of my life i said,"I love you will be too small a word that can describe what i feel for you"..!!!!.."I will make you realize that i more than love you a lot every nano second that you spend with me than by taking help of those three letter words".Not stopping i added."I don't have anything now..Not even a job,no money or nothing.But yet i feel like the richest person and the king of the world simply because you are by my side".
After that her eyes spoke a lot than her lips.....
                                                            Day-2..CONT'D....
"Is this the way you treat your wife(now you know why i put my arm around her :P) on the anniversary..???...You better go to hell..."..yes when we met on Day-2(That has to be logically day-3) we have gotten married and before this meeting we had an argument and stopped talking with each other.Two days passed and suddenly this morning,as you already know,she called me for this evening.
Finally to convince her i said what i felt about her...
"Honey!!!..Right now am in heaven..See i have an angel by my side...Doubtless..this is heaven.. Heaven is where you are"....
Now a shy smile spread across her face...

First time ever trying my hands at two things that  doesn't identify my writing,fiction and romance. They say that you grow when you try to get out of your comfort level and try something.This is one such effort like a tentative shot that a batsman plays on the first day of wicket to know how the pitch behaves.And like everyone else i chose to open my story writing account with a love story since that easily reaches people :P.Even Gautham menon had to do Minnale when he had a powerful script like Kakka Kakka with him simply for the fact that romance reaches fast than other genres..:P...I just wanted to test my presentation and the ability to say things in a chronology that can make the story interesting.(something like screenplay).I'am aware of the fact  that its not really a strong intense story and i checked my ability to make a ordinary story interesting which defines what kind of writer you are.Hope you like it and drop your comments

Thursday, November 04, 2010

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